Building Resilience

Though we may long to live in a world without hardships and suffering, the reality is change is a constant and stress is unpredictable and unavoidable. Now more than ever we are reminded of the necessity to build resilience so that we can adapt and cope with adversity and uncertainty.

The good news is, we can train our nervous system to navigate our most difficult challenges with more ease and compassion. Like building a muscle, increasing resilience takes time and intentionality. Connection, wellness, healthy thinking and meaning can empower us to withstand tragedy and grow beyond what we think is possible.

Defining Resilience

“Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop.”

-American Psychological Society

Resilience is a muscle that anyone can build by using internal strengths and leveraging external resources. Here are some actionable steps that you can work on today to help you move through stressful times with more ease and compassion.

Reach Out to Your Community

Connect with your network, however it looks for you. Lean into the relationships you have that feel supportive. Let them know that you’re experiencing a difficult time and if it feels accessible, inform them of areas you where you could use some support. If you are looking for a place to donate in a way that directly supports those affected by the Marshall Fire, consider The Community Foundation of Boulder County. This organization is also the place to reach out to if you are in need of assistance due to the fire. There has been an astonishing $19 Million raised as of January 11, 2021.

Take One Step at a Time

Rome wasn’t built in a day so take it slow. Tap into your own well of self-efficacy and realize that “everything is figureoutable” (Marie Forleo), even when the problem seems insurmountable. Take one task at a time, one decision at a time, and one day at at time. Ask for help when you need it and take as many breaks as you need to. Make sure you celebrate the small wins along the way, noting even the tiniest change in how you feel.

Come Back to Your Body

Give space to your feelings and include a body-centered practice such as yoga, body scan meditations, breathwork, rolfing, or craniosacral if you are able. This is an important step in the process of fully healing from a stressful event. Trauma expert Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk has written the book on this very topic. The Body Keeps the Score has become the classic book on how the physical body is affected by stress and trauma. Check out his beautiful interview with Krista Tippett with On Being for an introduction to his work.

Identify Circumstances Outside Your Control

Circumstances are neutral, despite however negative or positive we may perceive them to be. Byron Katie says that the circumstance itself does not directly cause pain, rather how we choose to think about the circumstance is what influences how we feel. This explains how two people can interpret a circumstance differently, despite having a similar or same experience. The goal is not to perceive everything as positive all the time, however, it may be to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality so that we can move forward more effectively. This 25-minute podcast episode is worth a listen to explore this topic further: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/187/

Accept Change and Embrace Healthy Thoughts

Your thoughts have an enormous influence on your feelings. Try to identify areas of irrational thinking. If you feel overwhelmed by challenge, remind yourself that what happened to you is not an indicator of your future. You are not helpless. You may not be able to change a stressful event but you can change your response to that event. Accept that change is part of life and tragedy is part of every persons life at some point. Certain goals or ideals may no longer be attainable because of an adverse situation however acceptance will help you change your focus to things that are most important and allow you to move forward.

Find Positive Stress Management Tools

During times of adversity even the smallest gestures of love and kindness towards yourself and others can be helpful. Here are some simple ideas that you can build on: go on a nature walk at a local park or trail, build a snowman, go to a plant shop to be immersed in nature indoors, follow a guided meditation through a free app such as Calm or Insight Timer, or watch a light-hearted TV show or movie. Maintain a connection to your foundations of health to keep a sense of rhythm in your day to day life. Move your body every day, hydrate and nourish your body with healthy food and water. The goal isn’t to be perfect, but to do what you can to take care of yourself.

Get Professional Support

It is okay to reach out for professional support. Talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, brainspotting can all be incredibly beneficial for processing a traumatic event. The team at Boulder Natural Health has an abundance of treatments and referrals to help support you through difficult times. We have supplements to help with calming, herbs to help build nervous system resilience, flower essence remedies to help move through trauma, stress and grief, and remedies to help re-create healthy sleep patterns. We also have great referrals for acupuncture, massage, counseling, craniosacral therapy and other modalities. Reach out to your provider if you need support during this time, whether you are navigating a stressful event or starting a new routine.